The Best Dog in the World

The Best Dog in the World

Remember that dog food jingle, “My Dog’s Better Than Your Dog?” I bring it up because my dog Jackie, a.k.a. Food Issues, is indeed better than your dog and, before you get huffy, I’ll happily prove it. Not only is Jackie cute, clever and very well-behaved, he also...
Hovel Sweet Hovel

Hovel Sweet Hovel

SOMETIMES MY HOUSE GETS SO DISHEVELED it seems easier to sell it than to clean it. I can imagine the advertisements: “Cozy ranch loaded with extras.” (Extra dust, extra mildew, extra dog hair.) “Needs TLC” is short for “Needs Truck Loads of Comet.” “Full of character”...
Shoe Stalking Season

Shoe Stalking Season

JANUARY IS DEAR SEASON, turkey season starts in March and April kicks off open season on the strappy sandal. Some women simply waltz into the store, pick out a pair of shoes and plunk down their money. But where’s the sport in that? A couple of years ago a girlfriend...
A Very Hairy Breakup

A Very Hairy Breakup

ON A SCALE THAT MEASURES CATASTROPHES,  losing a lover is a 9.5; losing a stylist is 10 million to the infinite power. My stylist Chelsea and I had been together for more than two decades and I imagined we’d always be together, well into my blue rinse days. My will...
Let’s Talk Turkey

Let’s Talk Turkey

I’M ABOUT TO MAKE  CONFESSION that will likely land my name on some top-secret, un-American list, but I refuse to make turkey for Thanksgiving dinner ever again. For years I’ve attempted to achieve the holy grail of the Thanksgiving meal, i.e. a juicy turkey,...